saw my cousin last nite at hougang mall, somehow can sense that she no longer want to tok to mi anymore. she dun even want to look at me for the second time. i did try my best, i send sms to her, send her greeting cards as i always does. since she dun 1 2 have anythin to do with me. then shall be, it seems to me tat everi since SH is gone things in my life has change. i can no longer click with my sec sch friends, no longer who i can confide with. i could only blog or rather write in my diary. for sure im a loner. or rather a anti social after all. it use to be my wish to stay together with my friends, go trip with my friends. but rite now, i seems to a invisible after all. no one will ever remember who m i. maybe i shld change my name to Chen Xinyi. she's a ger who no one will ever notice her existence. i think my fate is the same as her in the Taiwan TV Drama. in work is the same as in my personal life. will i ever be remember by my friends or they dun even will remember it.

My heart no longer pumps, no longer looking forward to a brand new day. for me i only noe u wun noe wat happen tml. maybe tis min im here and the next min im gone. tis has been my thinkin ever since the early start of the yr. feel like i've having depression haha... have been thinkin those bad things. i wish i can go back to the sec sch time where all the friends are always hang together. or i rather not to be born in this world. i want to be love, i want to be notice by ppl, but all is not goin to come true.

My heart is experiencing abit of pain, is this a hinting to me that treasure everi min n everi sec i have in my life??? or is it telling me that i won't be able to survive to witness i set up a family of my own???

whenever i see stacey blog i felt more n more outsider, watever they tok i dun understand a word at all. is it bcoz im the one who let go of everi thing. once mirror broken no matter hw u mend it stil have a scar no longer can be the same as last time.

im getting abit sian of my current company liao. haizz tot of quitting this job, but my wedding is only 7 mths away cannt lose the income of my study n wedding n honeymoon haizzz... is so sickening. i noe dear is trying hard to let me have a gd life. tats y i oso keep on enduring with this company n the ppl over here. sometimes i really wish i will stay as a child forever. as least baby got no problems only know how to cry n play. haiz...

long time no come in blog liao. last sun just went down to bridal concept and have my 1st gown fitting hehe... so tiring trying so many pcs of wedding gown n evening gown haha... 2nd time of fitting will be end of next month liao. on the same day i try my 1st gown fitting we also bought our wedding band at Soo Kee. now have to go find my wedding shoes, my wedding gifts and the wine and our bed haha... must settle everi thing b4 the 7th lunar. exactly 7 mths to go for my wedding.

wat are friends for. to concern you when u are upset, to share laughter with you when they are happy, to share sadness when they are sad. i dun haf any friends at all
i'm a person with no tml. my world don't exist for tml. wat will happen to me for tml nobody noes, maybe i might juz slp n slp juz like slppin beauty forever slpping n no waking up. i lost my friends years back. this is the path i choose, i nid to continue on my own. y shld i honour my promise to other ppl when other ppl dun even honour their promise to me. why m i the one to give in. why... i'm so sick of this world even though i haf the one i luv the most. if i haf a chance i rather nt born in this world. i rather join my frien SH in the other world. maybe the day will soon arrive.

so fast tml is the chinese new yr eve liao. another yr past again, tis yr is my ox year wor haha... tot of having a ox baby but i dun think is possible for me to do tat haha... anyway wish everybody a happy chinese new yr HUART AR~~~~~

countin down to knock off time, today is super borin i finish my work and nthing for me to do liao haha... and my aunt is comin back from perth takin the mid nite plane so shld reach singapore by tml early mornin. lookin forward to their return from perth. tis time round they are stayin for ard 3 weeks hehe... can c my long time cousin liao, later my uncle is goin to say me again haha.... every year is the same lucky only let him say once a yr nia haha...

back from Kukup, had a great fun over there. play 1 whole day of mahjong hehe... and follow them to see the guys playin the fire cracker. back to work again so sian, now been following the taiwan drama you are my destiny not a bad show hehe...

happy 23 birthday to myself, hehe... today on leave to celebrate my bday wif my dear. later he fetchin me up in another 25 mins, after that goin to Lovelyinn place to collect my item then after that i think is goin to Royal Plaza located at Scotts Road to have lunch buffet hehe... following that will be catching the Red Cliff 2 movie at Ang Mo Kio hub. i think after the movie maybe have a early dinner b4 proceeding to my lesson at CPA house, which is so sian. haizzz... wat a day to spend. a lesson on my bday. anyway almost my wish has come truth, except i never win a 1st prize in 4D b4 haha... anyway i got to go prepare liao. may i have a beautiful day for the whole day.

no time to blog, last nite busy catching up with the little nyonya show haha... countin down to my 23rd bday hehe... and 8 more mths to my wedding. after my bday the following week goin to bridal concept and have my 1st gown fitting hehe... abit nervous n anxious, still dunno wat design i want. his sister n 2 nephews is tagging along also haha... his sister say she 1 2 go kpo abit lol... i saw the display gown quite nice looking. maybe will reserve that piece or wait for sally the co-ordinator to recommend ba. hehe...

today is the 1st day of the yr 2009. so fast tml sch reopens n i got to start my part time course oso. lucky i only take up 1 course this yr haha.... so sian... next fri is my 23rd bday, times flies so fast haha... after my bday the following week goin to have my gown fitting hehe... juz nw went to a few places to check out the places which we want to take for our outdoor shoot. i found 1 place quite nice but got to walk up the slope, veri shack leh imagine i got to wear the outdoor gown n walk the way up haha... got to discuss with the photographer as time comes. next weekend goin kukup hehe... can go there play mahjong liao haha

today is the last day of 2008 another 3 hrs will be yr 2009. hopefully next yr will be a better yr. today the company dun even noe haf half day anot, i juz take half day leave. who cares whether have half day anot. so sucks want. i hope i can find a better job next yr. last of all i wish everi one a Happy New Year. i wish to save up more money so that next yr i can travel to 3 places haha... and i pray that the economy can go up again. haha... let's wish everyone have a healthy body n earn lots of money. yeah~~~

today im so boil up, was told by my accountant tat i nid to do the stock take tml, and hello tis job is belong to the cost control job hw come become our job scope. take so high pay cannt even handle 13 units is it. then might as well quit ur job la. dun act cute n teh teh in front of the GM la. 2pid bitch go back msia n give birth la, i hope ur bf dump u ar. such a cunning n idiot pig. i hate tis bloody company im goin to tender my resignation after CNY. tml new yr eve dun even haf a half day off, wat a 2pid company benefit n welfare sucks to the core, cannt tahan them liao, only noe hw to act pity in front of our GM. y not u go back ur own country n be a actress might be a better choice for u. dun come here n bully us.

hey that's my dear and me inside the transit





Inside the Graunda PLane before departing to Bali




Such a beautiful bathtub isnt it, i spent almost all my stay in that bathtub.






Private pool that is shared by the 3 couples staying in this villa

here's the volcano opp the restaurant tat we had our lunch on the Friday 19/12/08 which is the 2nd day at Bali. And is at a mountain. so cold over there machiam like in cameron highland haha....





There's a lake whereby can see it from the restaurant. a beautiful lake after all




This place is juz beside the restaurant but alot of flies though, so irritating.





Lots of trees n clouds, it's nice to stay in these cold or rather cooling place. and a nice view after all

greetin frm Bali here, comin back to Singapore in mid nite time. hehe... nw usin Dear Epc to blog, now we are located at 1 of the restaurant opp SOGO in Kota town. will update more pic when i come back hehe..

2day no work bcoz im goin for my holi haha... im goin bali haha... so excied nv been there b4 wonder hw does it look like. the important thing i want to know is whether the villa we are stayin dunno got any bath tub in it anot haha... anyway i will take more pic n upload in here hehe....

i'm bringing the pink colour hello kitty wallet which last time Sabrina bought it for me hehe... and inside i found 1 small black card which state Sabrina, Stacey, Soo Hong, Siew Ling, Cindy and my name in it. and it states Friends Forever. when i see this my feeling is like we are no longer friends forever. haizzzz how i wish can turn back the clock to sec sch time. i miss those days. i dunno y our group will disband, i juz dun understand.

anyway erm... m i 1 of u guys also haha... its like long time nv gather together i feel like im not 1 of u ever after since SH not around. haizz... i saw the pic u guys take together i really got the feeling tat im no longer 1 of the group not to mention the APL Gang. haha...

why are my friends thinkin stil so immature, y still stuck at sec sch time. can grow up anot. how old liao, suka suka angry then dun anz my cal n reply my sms. y u muz bother so much whether they wil gossip abt u anot. ppl will change want wat, i juz dun understand lor. y the thikin stil so immature. i really had enough of these kind of friends liao. i rather i dun haf any frien at all. really hard to be a sandwich de lor. i had been a sandwich for so many yrs i had enough of tat liao. really lor. for some purpose i really rather i dun 1 2 invite none of my friend at all. she dun 1 2 c them dun 1 2 sit together with them how m i goin to organise a table like tat. i hate being a ger. their thinkin n emotion is too strong n stubborn oso. haizzz forget it i wun contact her anymore. anyway she no longer my best friend since we left sec sch. from now on u go ur way i go my way. i wun bother u any more. i will juz take it tat u are juz the same as soo hong tat disappear from my vision.

countin down towards my bali trip which is another 12 more days to go haha... cant wait to go there man lol

is friday again, another new month. and the yr 2008 is goin to end soon. haha... and the date of my wedding is comin nearer n nearer. im thikin of quittin my job, but i got to consent my aunt n ask for her advice whether is it a gd idea to quit my current job. haha... actually i dun haf the intention to quit but after i realise the HR team over here keep on forcing ppl to attend the christmas party next tues (9/12). but im hafin my exam on tat day and some more got to go to Loyang or Simei there as my GM lives there. and some more the party end at 11:30pm and the next day stil got to work. bloody hell i already got my reason and they stil keep on insist me to go. i told them i will buy the present but im not goin. they say they need my presence and not the present. shit them la, i dun even like the ppl in tis comp wat for i muz go attend the party when i noe i wun be happy at all. if joey is still here i dun mind goin. but she has left tis comp. haizz now even our PM oso in trouble think she quittin soon. tis comp alot of evil n bad ppl. not a place for me to stay on.