Something is amiss

dear you know the 2 boys say they cant slp because something is missing which is you. i also feel the same as them. i miss talking to you. i have been blaming myself is it my fault if i should go to the room and see what is the thing that falls down. maybe you will be save? is it all my fault that you left us forever? i have never expect that things fall down is you. our study room always got things that fall down but how would i expect it to be you. i know many ppl say i shouldnt blame myself is just a accident but i cant help but blame myself for it. that the 3 kids lost their dad at such young age. you know the 2 boys are so close to you. i scare i cant do as well as you did with the boys.

Heartbroken day

i miss you alot dear really. what m i going to do without you in my life from now on. i miss talking to you. complaining to you about the kids. im so used to your snoring your sleep talk occasionally. but now i got to get used without having you in my life. who can i talk to who can i share my daily affair

Wow the last time I blog is 3 yrs ago. Time flies, i've almost forgotten that I still have a blog until watching the tv drama 96'C cafe. 雨晨 is blogging inside that was the time it struck my mind that I still have a blog. I didn't know is still alive. But nowadays all the people is either inside Facebook or twitter I dont think still got ppl blogging. My blog started in Aug 04 almost close to 9 yrs and is the time I with my hub also. Next yr will be our 10 yrs. Since 09 married till now I've lost 2 close friends 1 of it is my closest cousin another 1 is my closest best friend. After so many yrs gone pass I keep on asking myself have I ever regret it for breaking the friendship with Siew Ling and Melody. Maybe yes maybe no. I believe in my heart that I definitely live a very happy life right now.

My wedding album

hurray, today is a nice date haha... i've passed my test after 2nd time of attempt haha... such a nice date to remember. Tom gettin married today, and i've passed my license today. and best of all 3 yrs ago is the date that hub propose to me haha... such a nice way of remembering Tom's wedding date and my license date haha...

i think i've got a yr plus didn blog liao le... haha... didn even thought that my blog actually exist.. i've become a tai tai for the past 9 mths i guess... reason is to complete my CAT diploma before finding a job. lucky i stil can survive haha... finally exam is here and i think i will fail 1 of the sub, not much confidence.

anyway i wonder who will still come in and look at my blog since i started bloggin a few yrs back i think got at least 6 yrs le ba... the day im with my hub until nw i think shld have at least 6 yrs le haha...

i really regret asking you. i ask you is becoz you are once my best frien yet you last min back off. forget it, i really dun 1 2 see you anymore. bcoz it really sucks, and im super piss off. i dun even wish to see you appear on tat day. after everything is settle i will delete you from my memory. and delete everything that is abt your stuff. i dun 1 2 cry anymore. no point cryin over a person like you.

wow it's been 2 mths pluz since i last blog haha... dun really haf the time to blog due to busy at work and alot of things to do. think i will less bloggin liao le. recently being addicted to mahjong computer game haha... will blog again when im free

today super angry, who do you think you are. tis is suppose to be ur jobscope and not mine, y m i the one who's suppose to contact the manager, since u want to take the credit you shld be the one who's doin this job n not me. dun haf experience nor qualification only noe hw to bootlick. i wonder wat ur bf see in u. i pray tat u get ur karma ASAP juz like wat happen when u go back to ur hometown being robbed by ur own ppl. hate tis kind of cunning ppl....

i'm loving you more n more each day. especially the look in ur eyes on last sun nite 31 may 09.

hmmm... long time no blog, since the gathering at bbq i've been busy preparing my wedding preparation until no time to surf net haha... bought LG phone last weekend. last nite went to select my photo. our selection was fast spent 2 hrs at the bridal shop and everi thing was done. the next time i go down will be viewing the layout for my ablum.

was quite unhappy for the outcome, bcoz the fake eye lashes cover my eyes, i cant even c my own eyes. all the pic i saw is my eyes are close. tats y we spend only 2 hrs bcoz i chose only those pic tat i can c my eyes are open. was pretty upset, at the photoshoot the MUA comment tat my gown do not need the push up effect so she didn help me at all, which makes me veri piss off liao. then now the picture are totally ruin by the fake eye lashes. bloody hell... if im rich i confirm request retake again. the life time picture are all ruin by the fake eye lashes. i told dear that on the actual day i dun 1 2 stick on any fake eye lashes liao. i ask the make up artist to do the make up abit not like me but not totally cannt c my eyes lor. think of the pic n the photo shoot im really veri piss off. KNN.... seeing the outcome suppose to be happy but for me im not happy at all.. i keep on grumble... how i wish clock can turn back again, i wun stick on the eye lashes

my heart is gettin more hatred. i dont feel any luv at all, im countin down towards the day that i get the key to my house. sometimes i wonder to myself, will i ever drop a single tear for my dad. towards him, i only have hatred, the reason i settle down early oso bcoz of him, so that i can officially move out of this stupid house n no longer need to face him.

1st post in the new month, wat am i busy with recently. went to Bukit Tinggi last weekend during Labour Day, quite fun but veri hot haha.. and the place we stay looks like the castle in europe style haha... food over there is exp. after comin back the next day went to shop for furniture with his whole family. we shop almost half a day. damn tiring, lucky our house come in 2 yrs later if not i think my legs is goin to kill me.

now we are waiting for Kit or Sally to cal us up for the photo selection, and this week goin to his house and select the photo montage so that we can pass it to Ah Boon friend to help us do the photo montage. 2nd thing goin to have a meet up with the supplier for the wedding favors, 3rd thing got to book a health check up appointment which i intend to do it maybe next mth. 4th thing got to select a date for the guo da li which i guess shld be ard end of june time ba. the last thing which i really havin a headache will be the guest list n the sister thing. haizz... i really wish the friends whom i've been close with can participate in my big day. but then again, as wat joey mention before, "you never ask how would you know whether they want to help anot. dun assume it, juz ask it"


are my close friends goin to help mi celebrate my hens nite?? i tot of goin to taiwan for a week with Stacey they all, but then again money counts haha... since Lum n Seng planning to go Phuket for the bachelor nite y cant i go taiwan or somewhere near near like Batam or Bintan oso can haha... i really wish to relax myself n enjoy myself b4 i step into another new step. i wish to go to places i nv been b4 like st james n zouk haha...

i dreamt of joo gong last nite, hmmm when is the last time i dreamt of her i think is last yr ba. or even 2 yrs ago, dreamt abt her in short hair haha... and we chattin outside the toilet in her house kitchen, if i dun remember wrong haha... although i know she wun cut her hair short but she do look nice in my dream. i dream that we are watching movie together with the group, when is the last time i have watch movie with the group i think is years back le ba. is this a hint from you that i shld join them more often so that i can dream of you haha... anyway the dream is so real juz like we've watch the movie not long before haha... i do miss you, whenever i think of you i cant hold my tears. you are always constantly in my mind. how i wish i got the 3rd eye to see you lol~~~

after finishin takin the PS yesterday was so shag and i couldn even get up to go to work, so i took urgent leave for today haha.... thinkin back the more i think of Kit the more i think he looks like the Feng De Lun haha... was fun for the PS enjoy myself how i wish can go back take again haha.... i think i'm falling in luv with the PS haha... maybe next time can go back take again probably with the whole family or our 10 yr weddin anni haha...

after the gathering with Stacey last week, i really should treasure them. they are the friends i have spend with in my sch days. i promise that i will find time to meet up with them and not MIA hehe... hope i can go back to your group

yesterday went to the final gown selection for my evening gown, in the end not much of the colour or design tat i like. so took back the first evening gown that i reserve when i went there for the 1st time. afternoon came back for the trial make up
veri happy for the effect n i keep on taking picture of myself haha....

like this pic, but the eyes abit side way looking of it haha... n my poor dolphin not only even half the body is inside the pic haha...




inside the car



ghostly pic of me haha...



act cute of me haha...



look so weird haha...



do i look even fierce enough or juz a black face after all haha




both of us in his car while waiting for my family to come down.

i wonder is it the gers use to protect me, tats y nw whatever things i say out muz be veri careful especially in a small n complicated with so many politic company. my ex colleague juz told me tat she draw a distance from me. she keep on sayin tat other ppl wun think like the way i do, i noe tat everi time i dun use my brain to think of the impact n consequences i juz bluntly say out, although i meant no harm but maybe to other ppl it really matters alot. hw m i suppose to change this where i have survive with this character for so long. haizz... last time in Brady i dun see any polictic like wat i saw in my current company. haizz... is it my thinkin really still at children time or i didn grow up at all or i simply cannt click with those ppl who is much more older than me. looks like next time i muz be a mute ger in work life liao le. i muz only work n nt chit chat or gossip if not more n more ppl will draw the distance away from me even though she no longer work in my company. haizzz.... workin life is so complicated how i wish i still a child live with no worries. i really miss those sec sch days, can i go back to the time where we still studying?? i really dun 1 2 work in this company whom is full of politic, everi thing i do i say muz be careful. im the type tat y cares wat other ppl are thinkin sometimes i really think tat these ppl really think too much. haizzz...

hmmm... had a long chat wif joey today. looks like tml got to ask dear out to have a chat le. wat shld i do to make u guys come out, have send sms but no definite anz. wat can i do other than sms. call??? well, take a step at a time ba, i tried my best le.

was watching youtube video earlier on, didn noe that ya lun was afraid of heights same as me sia haha... but 1 thing he keeps alot of facial products in his bag wor, while yi ru likes to keep his own photo in his bag. da dong luvs his appearance alot n he wun allow tat his hair to be messy. haha... saw a video where wu zhun was kissing ya lun n da dong was kissing yi ru, but yi ru keep on rejecting haha... so funny n abit gross lol... yi ru say tat although the 4 of them are quite gd friends but not to the extend of kissing each other haha... i laugh until almost cry out liao haha... sibei funny, yesterday went to follow the pillow which i custom made from the taiwan, have their picture on it wor hehe... the other nite juz haf a dream of them. simply luv them too much le haha...