had a tiring day. busy keying 46 days of sales into the spreadsheet. faint.... next time shld not find a retail or F&B line job. it's a tiring thing once u are on leave n ur colleague couldn cover for you. then u are goin to die when u go back to office. haha....

thinking back, since last week i start to have this emotion thing maybe is due to Joey's reaction. maybe i mind or think too much le, juz like wat dear everi time say to me. i really think too much or im too sensitive le. it seems to me that i'm a invisible to her whenever she got problem she always tok to Maggie, maybe they are good friends n good ex colleague. but now i noe that Joey didn really treat me as invisible still can chat wif her. maybe is only me that really think too much le.

than came to my cousin, was really hurt when i read her email. she keep on sayin that i have changed in sense of my attitude to her, n she keep on pouring wet blanket on me. i noe she worried for me but wat i need is the support from her n nt keep on pouring wet blanket. 及然她把我说的以问不之 so what for i still need contact with her. i shld not contact her at all from now on. i tot she really noe me but in the end all i can see from her is all the bad comments. i heard enough of these comments, from work n from her. this is the path i choose so y dun u congrats me n not keep on pouring wet blanket. i hafn even married yet n u already curse me divorce is miserable. WTF.... i really hate her...


突然间我发现我真的无法承受那么多的打击。one come after another. it's really veri tiring you know. thinkin back all these years, i really didn spent much with you guys. my world suddenly become only him but no one else. 可能是因为我太依赖他了没有了他我真得无法想像我还能不能自持的住. from not really like him until now i cannt live without him. i did try to make a gathering but it turn out all not successful hw come. i oso dunno haizz... everi time i tried to organise a gathering, the response is always negative or juz totally no news at all. 我真的心毁一冷了，一次又一次的failure. i still remember last time we use to have a meet up on everi sat. but rite now, i still remember there's once i went out with you all, n the words u all tok i totally dun understand. frm there then i realise i couldn walk into the world u guys have. wat APL, n blah blah blah~~~~~ all i totally dunno at all. maybe tat time i give up le. i couldn blame anyone for this but myself.

finally take back my computer. finally can surf the net can start to DL songs liao haha.... after yesterday at Mandai, i realise that i cant be so selfish even though i quarrel wif my cousin, n so many ppl dun even realise my existence but so wat. i stil haf the ppl who raise me up. from young due to lack of mother love i told myself that next time i want to get married n settle down n haf my own children n give them lots of luv. this has been my aim, yet my cousin say tat i married so early is to run away the issue that me n my dad keep on quarreling. i admit tis is part of the reason also, main issue is i really want to have my own family can't i??
although my pay is low, but i've been trying veri hard to save up money also. i've been thinking n imagine so much until my head goin to explode soon. i think next time i will have senile i will soon forget everi ppl.

had a change of new blogskin hehe.... was wondering to get a LG Cookie or LG Ice Cream phone. in the end i think get LG Cookie phone is better, as the review is better than the LG Ice Cream.


just saw my cousin reply frm the email, she has i haf change to the worse n i look stuck up. do I??? but she's my cousin she jolly noe me well wat. wat makes her to believe in a guy which i haf never even see him before. wat makes her believe in a stranger than her own cousin. like wat i told stacey, is ALL MY FAULT. my karma is punishing on me.

saw my cousin last nite at hougang mall, somehow can sense that she no longer want to tok to mi anymore. she dun even want to look at me for the second time. i did try my best, i send sms to her, send her greeting cards as i always does. since she dun 1 2 have anythin to do with me. then shall be, it seems to me tat everi since SH is gone things in my life has change. i can no longer click with my sec sch friends, no longer who i can confide with. i could only blog or rather write in my diary. for sure im a loner. or rather a anti social after all. it use to be my wish to stay together with my friends, go trip with my friends. but rite now, i seems to a invisible after all. no one will ever remember who m i. maybe i shld change my name to Chen Xinyi. she's a ger who no one will ever notice her existence. i think my fate is the same as her in the Taiwan TV Drama. in work is the same as in my personal life. will i ever be remember by my friends or they dun even will remember it.

My heart no longer pumps, no longer looking forward to a brand new day. for me i only noe u wun noe wat happen tml. maybe tis min im here and the next min im gone. tis has been my thinkin ever since the early start of the yr. feel like i've having depression haha... have been thinkin those bad things. i wish i can go back to the sec sch time where all the friends are always hang together. or i rather not to be born in this world. i want to be love, i want to be notice by ppl, but all is not goin to come true.

My heart is experiencing abit of pain, is this a hinting to me that treasure everi min n everi sec i have in my life??? or is it telling me that i won't be able to survive to witness i set up a family of my own???

whenever i see stacey blog i felt more n more outsider, watever they tok i dun understand a word at all. is it bcoz im the one who let go of everi thing. once mirror broken no matter hw u mend it stil have a scar no longer can be the same as last time.

im getting abit sian of my current company liao. haizz tot of quitting this job, but my wedding is only 7 mths away cannt lose the income of my study n wedding n honeymoon haizzz... is so sickening. i noe dear is trying hard to let me have a gd life. tats y i oso keep on enduring with this company n the ppl over here. sometimes i really wish i will stay as a child forever. as least baby got no problems only know how to cry n play. haiz...

long time no come in blog liao. last sun just went down to bridal concept and have my 1st gown fitting hehe... so tiring trying so many pcs of wedding gown n evening gown haha... 2nd time of fitting will be end of next month liao. on the same day i try my 1st gown fitting we also bought our wedding band at Soo Kee. now have to go find my wedding shoes, my wedding gifts and the wine and our bed haha... must settle everi thing b4 the 7th lunar. exactly 7 mths to go for my wedding.

wat are friends for. to concern you when u are upset, to share laughter with you when they are happy, to share sadness when they are sad. i dun haf any friends at all
i'm a person with no tml. my world don't exist for tml. wat will happen to me for tml nobody noes, maybe i might juz slp n slp juz like slppin beauty forever slpping n no waking up. i lost my friends years back. this is the path i choose, i nid to continue on my own. y shld i honour my promise to other ppl when other ppl dun even honour their promise to me. why m i the one to give in. why... i'm so sick of this world even though i haf the one i luv the most. if i haf a chance i rather nt born in this world. i rather join my frien SH in the other world. maybe the day will soon arrive.

so fast tml is the chinese new yr eve liao. another yr past again, tis yr is my ox year wor haha... tot of having a ox baby but i dun think is possible for me to do tat haha... anyway wish everybody a happy chinese new yr HUART AR~~~~~

countin down to knock off time, today is super borin i finish my work and nthing for me to do liao haha... and my aunt is comin back from perth takin the mid nite plane so shld reach singapore by tml early mornin. lookin forward to their return from perth. tis time round they are stayin for ard 3 weeks hehe... can c my long time cousin liao, later my uncle is goin to say me again haha.... every year is the same lucky only let him say once a yr nia haha...

back from Kukup, had a great fun over there. play 1 whole day of mahjong hehe... and follow them to see the guys playin the fire cracker. back to work again so sian, now been following the taiwan drama you are my destiny not a bad show hehe...

happy 23 birthday to myself, hehe... today on leave to celebrate my bday wif my dear. later he fetchin me up in another 25 mins, after that goin to Lovelyinn place to collect my item then after that i think is goin to Royal Plaza located at Scotts Road to have lunch buffet hehe... following that will be catching the Red Cliff 2 movie at Ang Mo Kio hub. i think after the movie maybe have a early dinner b4 proceeding to my lesson at CPA house, which is so sian. haizzz... wat a day to spend. a lesson on my bday. anyway almost my wish has come truth, except i never win a 1st prize in 4D b4 haha... anyway i got to go prepare liao. may i have a beautiful day for the whole day.

no time to blog, last nite busy catching up with the little nyonya show haha... countin down to my 23rd bday hehe... and 8 more mths to my wedding. after my bday the following week goin to bridal concept and have my 1st gown fitting hehe... abit nervous n anxious, still dunno wat design i want. his sister n 2 nephews is tagging along also haha... his sister say she 1 2 go kpo abit lol... i saw the display gown quite nice looking. maybe will reserve that piece or wait for sally the co-ordinator to recommend ba. hehe...

today is the 1st day of the yr 2009. so fast tml sch reopens n i got to start my part time course oso. lucky i only take up 1 course this yr haha.... so sian... next fri is my 23rd bday, times flies so fast haha... after my bday the following week goin to have my gown fitting hehe... juz nw went to a few places to check out the places which we want to take for our outdoor shoot. i found 1 place quite nice but got to walk up the slope, veri shack leh imagine i got to wear the outdoor gown n walk the way up haha... got to discuss with the photographer as time comes. next weekend goin kukup hehe... can go there play mahjong liao haha

today is the last day of 2008 another 3 hrs will be yr 2009. hopefully next yr will be a better yr. today the company dun even noe haf half day anot, i juz take half day leave. who cares whether have half day anot. so sucks want. i hope i can find a better job next yr. last of all i wish everi one a Happy New Year. i wish to save up more money so that next yr i can travel to 3 places haha... and i pray that the economy can go up again. haha... let's wish everyone have a healthy body n earn lots of money. yeah~~~

today im so boil up, was told by my accountant tat i nid to do the stock take tml, and hello tis job is belong to the cost control job hw come become our job scope. take so high pay cannt even handle 13 units is it. then might as well quit ur job la. dun act cute n teh teh in front of the GM la. 2pid bitch go back msia n give birth la, i hope ur bf dump u ar. such a cunning n idiot pig. i hate tis bloody company im goin to tender my resignation after CNY. tml new yr eve dun even haf a half day off, wat a 2pid company benefit n welfare sucks to the core, cannt tahan them liao, only noe hw to act pity in front of our GM. y not u go back ur own country n be a actress might be a better choice for u. dun come here n bully us.

hey that's my dear and me inside the transit





Inside the Graunda PLane before departing to Bali




Such a beautiful bathtub isnt it, i spent almost all my stay in that bathtub.






Private pool that is shared by the 3 couples staying in this villa

here's the volcano opp the restaurant tat we had our lunch on the Friday 19/12/08 which is the 2nd day at Bali. And is at a mountain. so cold over there machiam like in cameron highland haha....





There's a lake whereby can see it from the restaurant. a beautiful lake after all




This place is juz beside the restaurant but alot of flies though, so irritating.





Lots of trees n clouds, it's nice to stay in these cold or rather cooling place. and a nice view after all

greetin frm Bali here, comin back to Singapore in mid nite time. hehe... nw usin Dear Epc to blog, now we are located at 1 of the restaurant opp SOGO in Kota town. will update more pic when i come back hehe..

2day no work bcoz im goin for my holi haha... im goin bali haha... so excied nv been there b4 wonder hw does it look like. the important thing i want to know is whether the villa we are stayin dunno got any bath tub in it anot haha... anyway i will take more pic n upload in here hehe....

i'm bringing the pink colour hello kitty wallet which last time Sabrina bought it for me hehe... and inside i found 1 small black card which state Sabrina, Stacey, Soo Hong, Siew Ling, Cindy and my name in it. and it states Friends Forever. when i see this my feeling is like we are no longer friends forever. haizzzz how i wish can turn back the clock to sec sch time. i miss those days. i dunno y our group will disband, i juz dun understand.

anyway erm... m i 1 of u guys also haha... its like long time nv gather together i feel like im not 1 of u ever after since SH not around. haizz... i saw the pic u guys take together i really got the feeling tat im no longer 1 of the group not to mention the APL Gang. haha...