memories

dar, just now i bring the kids to compass point genki for dinner. then when i was eating i was crying inside my heart. coz the memories of you having dinner or lunch with us. who will share the drink with me. who will eat those food which i don't eat de. we always pass to you to eat. but just now nobody to pass to. i'm also trying to put up a strong front. but i know deep down my heart im crying already. even now while im typing i also feel like crying but im just controlling only. i have also book a car refresher. owen keep asking me to drive car. you know i got no confidence in driving coz im so scare. and the responsibility taken is even higher. i'm so afraid i cant do as well as you are. last time always ask them to find you but now all look for me and i got no answer for them. i'm not as smart as you are. i dont even know why you will choose me for your wife when im so stupid. all i know is cook and care for them. all those sch work i know nothing at all. i can't even help them. i feel so useless. you know you are the man that can do all things so well. taking care of the family so well. everytime u say u are like taking care of 4 kids, i also feel like i'm a kid that cant grow up. i think i ever asked you before why choose me to be ur gf when your condition is so good but i can't remember what you say le. i was looking back at our past pictures from young to old. and when was the last time we had a couple pic. i couldnt even find any recent de. all are with the kids. sometimes taking the lrt i cant help but will try to cry but i hold back, how to forget and control myself.