surprise

dar, i went to a counsellor yesterday. and i know i had to go counselling coz my mental mind is not good at all. coz i got the thought of joining you at the other end but the 3 children is my strength especially meimei. seeing her makes me happy. for their sake i got to pull myself up. and i'm reading the book that the counsellor pass to me and i'm quite surprise that many widows eventually become christian. which i don't understand. the book is Strength to Live, is compiled by over 30 widows which i'm like really so many? just now one of the fellow widow mummy came over, she bought some plushie n goodies for your kids. her hub same thing as you also heart attack but he was only 35 yr old. last time you always say what if you die first what will happen, we never really had a talk about it. if time can go back i will really tell u that stop being so selfish you should consider us more. go for body checkup. i believe you ignore those symptoms and thus this thing happen. the book mention health issue which most widow will worry what happen if they also had the same issue as the spouse n the kids will become orphan. this is exactly what i'm thinking also. this book wrote alot of what i feel. and now i'm back to my intermitten fasting again. coz i got no time to eat liao le or rather not much of appetite also. without you around i also don't eat much and to think my fav snacking i also cut down until i myself also don't really believe it. but i bought bubble tea that day, i drank it and feel so shiok about it. i should pamper myself more but i rather save on myself and spend more on your kids instead. thats what you did to them isn't it.