this few days really alot of things happen to me. i don't know whether am i the one who cause the problem or wat. anyway i have give hope liao le. regardless of what result it is my heart got no reaction. i don't know am i trying to bluff myself or am i trying to console myself. sometimes i wonder what i like in you. u are not romantic at all even when im angry you just don't know how to cheer me up. haiz i really don't know. maybe after all we are not really that suitable ba. let's give ourself a break ba. if u really wish to end it, well then i won't stop you also. hopefully you can find a better girl in the future ba. hopefully won't be like me so immature so childish. find a character that is the same as you, same interest as you, same age as you will be better. once a mirror is broken no matter how hard you try to put it back, it will never regain the same thing again. this is what my cousin that tell me before. the feelings will never be the same again once the mirror is broken. what i'm going to do now is concentrate on my studies. don't think i will be going to the christmas this year liao le. no reasons just don't feel like going. will i feel sad when the thing really happen. i don't know, i only know i will control myself not to drop any tears from now. if can maybe we should really give ourself a break then start all over again when we really know where does the problem lies on.

thanks for readin my blog lo. who badmouth u or say anything nasty abt u. i totally gt no idea at all lo. is u who dun 1 2 contact mi alone. i LAN LAN lo. i cant say anything. ever since u nv contact mi at all, i gt alot of problems also lo. who can i tel to. NO ppl lo. normally is u who are there to share my problems with mi gif mi advice bt now leh. u are not even there lo. i totally gt NO FRIENDS at all lo. who can i tel to i ask u. i dun even tel my bf my things lo. even when im sad or wat i just write inside my blog if nt i just keep inside my heart. i gt no ppl to share with lo. aiya forget it la, forgot u now already got ur ite friends liao le. u gt any problem can just tel them and me leh, i dun even haf a single friend lo. a close friend oso dun haf lo. last time use to be u but now since u dun bother to contact me. den i just take it our friendship ended at 2002. the yr when we graduate from xinmin secondary. our friendship is gone. no more you in my memory no more this person. u are just a HI BYE friend to me. from now i wun b bother abt ur thing ur life anything at all. i totally dun gif it a damn liao le. even u being bully by ur 2pid bf or whatever shit it is i oso wun gif it a damn.

think im going to cancel my bike thing soon. haha... can feel that there's a change in me since i return from australia. now c bike like machiam no feeling liao. gt bike den bike lo no bike den no bike lo. seldom purposely wil go n bio bike nowadays. tis is wat i sense in myself. i like australia there. haha... feel like movin there leh haha... bt nt nw la, i mean when i reach 30+ or 40+ go there enjoy. there really can relax sia. i go there onli for 13 days i already gain so much weight liao le. haha... i think hor if 1 day my ah ma really go liao i think im goin bersek. haha... i cant imagine without her in my life. she's more close to me. miss my small little cousin jing. and i miss the sky over there n the weather. k la, another 2 more mths goin to c them soon liao le. haha... they are comin back for chinese new yr wahahah... cool isn it. although my cousin can b irritatin bt den i dote them the most dunno y oso haha... k la. wil write again when im free.


nowadays keep on addicted to my maple game haha...

it's been so long since i last post. think im going to find a new blogskin haha... n im so excited to share my excitement to him haha.... got lots n lots of things to tel him haha...

is my 1st time, i feel so cold n
i felt so high and excited. i almost can feel it's coming
i feel so high up so excited n so lookin forward.
i felt so giddy but after i done it i felt so release
but im stil so cold in it. can u guess wat im tokin abt haha




its............. Aeroplane that im tokin about. haha... it is my 1st time sittin wat haha
it's been such a long time since i play my maple so im goin to play it today haha.... and i borrow 3 storybooks from my cousin. they are harry potter haha... 3 thick books sia. hopefully can complete readin when they came back to singapore next yr. n i think i gain alot of weight sia haha... keep on eat n eat haha....well think im goin to find a blogskin soon, den ask my dear help mi do liao le haha....

i gt say by somebody in friendster n i dunno who is it. is it my best buddy who betray me. other then her who wil be so bo liao go around barkin like a dogs. n onli my best friends know my secret n is already in the past for wat stil nid to go around tellin ppl abt it. im tire of it. if it is u den from now on u no longer is my friend i wil treat u as my FOE. i hate being betray. i tot i could trust u yet in the end u betray mi. tis is onli my conclussion, anyway i stop tellin ppl my secrets anymore in case i kana betray again. once bitten twice shy all ppl cant be trusted. i dun even noe my tis dear can b trusted ant haha... although i really trust him. tis matters already make mi feel sad liao le. i dun wish to bother abt it anymore. u 1 2 tel hu den go ahead ba. i onli can say u are a childish person who forever won't grow up. childish....

happy birthday to u dear. today is dear de birthday wor, cant celebrate wif him arrghhh workin ma, bo bian. anyway im goin to tel u i goin to book you 3 days from next wk haha... so next wk gt 3 days u MUZ spend the day wif mi liao leh, cannt meet ur sec sch friends for badminton nor go to fazer outin liao hor hehe...


argh so sucks man, exams comin soon n its really pretty soon. and next saturday im flyin off to australia wahhaha... to visit my cousin n aunt. haha... so nervous sia, 1st time flying off. cant imagine my nervous look. and the air ticket have been booked liao le. wil be settin off in the mornin so gt to wake up super early. goin for 2 weeks sia, wil u miss mi ant haha.

yesterday ask dear bo liao question haha bt veri bo liao meh, dun think so leh. maybe to u is ba haha... anyway i noe wat is the anz liao haha... anyway thanks for ur advice lo haha... i won't be bother for such a nonsense ppl or rather a jerk. goin out barkin and commentin for other ppl's look when he himself dun even dare to put his own picture stil dare to say until he himself veri nice lookin.

well, i will be changin my blog song soon. once i finish my exam haha... maybe the blog wil be changin the layout oso haha but muz wait til i come back from australia 1st haha.. k so wil stop here den. haha...

so long no blog liao sia, and someone say i too short n too fat.... :( sobzzzz definitely nt my hubby haha if he wana say mi he wil b sayin he himself liao wahahah... well, i dun take it to heart de coz the fact is im really short n fat wat. but well, the person who say mi wil have her retribution n i believe it. i believe in karma. so now i really prayin hard to change myself. stop sayin ppl bad words behind their back, coz i dun 1 2 have any karma for myself or for my family. muz learn to forgive n forget den can stay happy. n the person who say mi arent tat pretty also lo. stil dare to say mi so KNS. humpf~~~ and her word write until machiam like dunno wat sia, cant even read properly well, nvm stil younger den mi wahahah... i think i change quite alot since last time til nw. i mean when i was in secondary sch den ite den til meet dear. all this times i think i change quite alot liao whahaha... i will change for the better again. haha...

exams comin liao sia, yet i stil haven go revise for my work jia lat man, tis time die liao n sure die until veri jia lat. well, wil stop rite here n go back study for my exam liao. n im so excited sia, coz im goin to Australia to meet my cousins n aunt haha. so happy n tis is the 1st time i go overseas sia wahaha... nv been out of singapore b4 other den go to malaysia haha... tats difference from tis time. haha... i scare sia sit inside the areoplane, scare can feel im so high later dunno wat haha... k la. will blog again when im free haha...

so long didn post, muz post a happy thing ma, haha... monday, my teacher say i gt a cute n lovely voice when i speak from the microphone haha... so happy hehe...more funny thing. while dear was buyin my food i went to buy socks n the guy say where is my husband. i was like huh -_- haha i hafn even married to him yet. hmm nt so soon to settle down la haha. think stil gt a few more yrs to go ba. need savings oso ma, my bank is totally dry up liao where gt money to go married haha.

Keys to my heart, some of them like quite true sia haha...

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

i copy this out from the ladies forum alot of meaning.

This is what Oprah had to say about men...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you fromheartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationshipthat's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a manbefore you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was nottreating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then heprobably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.

He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behaviour.

Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...

even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...

compromise is two Way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...

thereis nothing cute.

About baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...

a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...l

ook for someone complimentary...

not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...

when a man always know where you are,

And you're always readily available to him ?

he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women...

You'll make someone smile,

another Rethink her choices,

and another woman prepare.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,

an hour to Appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

well, im doin my homework n listening to chinese song, the song which i like and i can listen it alot of times haha...im listenin to andy lau song. Wang Le Ying Chang n Jue Bu Fang Qi. in this 2 songs there's alot of meaning really. if u noe tis 2 songs u shld noe wat im thinkin~~~ finally let mi find out the lyrics of this 2 songs. i feel finally my heart was dropping down n nt so heavy after listenin to tis 2 songs.

绝不放弃

听不清喝彩声音

只有你的泪像海浪汇荡在我心里

看身边茫茫人群究竟谁对我还有意义

一直不能忘记

我的勇气曾失落在这里

如今我找回我自己

却又失去最深爱的你在风中远离

我绝不放弃永远爱你

时间空间挡不住不灭的情意

你值得我用一生追寻oh oh

我绝不放弃永远爱你

现实命运推不动思念的坚定

你是我最依赖的抚慰

我绝不放弃

chorus: 一直不能忘记

我的勇气曾失落在这里

如今我找回我自己
却又失去最深爱的你在风中远离

我绝不放弃永远爱你

时间空间挡不住不灭的情意
你值得我用一生追寻oh oh
我绝不放弃永远爱你

现实命运推不动思念的坚定
你是我最依赖的抚慰我绝不放弃

我绝不放弃永远爱你

现实命运推不动思念的坚定

你是我最依赖的抚慰我绝不放弃

我绝不放弃

我绝不放弃

忘了隐藏

我一直都以为可以把你轻易忘记

只是你的背影一直还在我心底

天天想你夜夜哭泣不能自己

想要逃避已经来不及

说什么海角到天即说什么今生永不离

你的一字一句一直徘回在心底

天天想起夜夜回忆眼泪再继续

应该放弃找个人代替

告诉我如何把你忘

告诉我如何把你隐藏

放在我的心上没有爱没有思念的地方

告诉我该怎么藏

告诉我如何把你遗忘

所谓地老天荒

只是让一个人孤孤单单让一个人心荒

chorus:

我一直都以为可以把你轻易忘记

只是你的背影一直还在我心底

天天想你夜夜哭泣不能自己
想要逃避已经来不及
说什么海角到天即说什么今生永不离

你的一字一句一直徘回在心底
天天想起夜夜回忆眼泪再继续
应该放弃找个人代替

告诉我如何把你忘
告诉我如何把你隐藏

放在我的心上

没有爱没有思念的地方

告诉我该怎么藏
告诉我如何把你遗忘
所谓地老天荒

只是让一个人孤孤单单让一个人心荒

chours:

告诉我如何把你忘

告诉我如何把你隐藏

放在我的心上

没有爱没有思念的地方
告诉我该怎么藏告诉我如何把你遗忘所谓地老天荒
只是让一个人孤孤单单让一个人心荒

是否情路太难你让我一个游游荡荡让一个人心伤

i dunno wats wrong wif mi, bt im nt like u i cant think within 1 nite, i need time, i need to cool down. i wun meet u for quite some time perhaps. i dun think u can tahan anymore of my temper. i tried my best not to vent on u bt things just come tat way n i just acted so rash which i myself couldnt even control. i wish to be alone for quite some time without you by my side. maybe its gd for both of us, meantime u can go n do watever things u wana do i wun bother as long as u happy in it. mean time i wil concentrate on my studies well u concentrate on watever things u do. hopefully can celebrate with u on ur bday ba~~ if nt den wait for mi come back frm Aust den say ba.

我的心意碎了，人也累了，一切都不想再动了

haha i feel like laughin sia, haha... i juz delete my last yr post which contains sad memory, coz i dun wana go n remember those memory anymore. n i realise my post abit like Piao Ling sia haha... c liao oso abit erm feel abit funny haha... now i noe hu is the guy tat really treat mi well, in fact is the one tat i have been for 1 yr goin on 13 months haha... can c from my post from sadness to happiness haha... well, gt to go bath le, c later gt meet u ant if dun haf den i wil continue delete it my past yr post. thanks for sayang mi so much n i really treasure it alot wor. :p thanks dear muack~~

such a boring weekend, *yawnz* its a rainin sunday, haha... n im goin back sch tml again haiz so sian, be it a work or study its forever so boring de, y huh... i oso dunno y, hmmm onli can say is being a adult its so boring sia, haha...i prefer to be a kid, no worries haiz so sian... wat to do neh... n oh shit de, cant even find my best friend now. wonder where has she disappear to. hmmm... well, im kinda lazy recently or rather been really lazy really. haha...

well, looks like it's been quite awhile since i last blog. what have i done recently, busy studyin wat else can i do huh. hmm... tis wk is a 1 wk holi for mi, tats great isn't it haha. k got to study for my common test for next tues, when i tot i could have the money to go take my bike prac. oh for goodness sake how on earth to find the money to go for prac. haha.... searching for sponsor to sponsor mi go bike prac sia haha.. ya rite in my dream huh. tats rite haha...k well, juz finish my series 1 of sailormoon DVD haha. isn't it great. oh boy tats in my imagination when Tuxudo Mars is so hunk haha... juz like Chen Lin haha... faint, when can i stop dreamin n wake up from the reality haiz how i wish to b a kid sia, i dun wana b adult, it's forever so stressful. im nt childish k. IM NOT CHILDISH, im juz innocent tats all, tats my character isn't it ma? hmmm... i hate u keep on sayin mi childish when everi time i acts like a child. haha... tats mi ma, i like the way i'm. haiz y muz i change bcoz u ask mi to haiz... i like being a childish ger haha... bt sometimes being a childish ger looks abit hmmm weird to mi when i go out wif my buddies. hmmm... whenever i goes out with them y i always gt the thinkin tat they are stil so childish, bt when im wif him eh wat kind of mind m i thinkin, bt hey i have change alot OK. sometimes being childish wun die rite. so y cant I. so irritatin humpf~~~ well, hack care liao. got to go back n study liao haiz so sickenin n borin life....

wow, since like i have been a long time didn come in to blog liao le, well, kind of lazy to blog haha...juz came back from cameron highland, tis time round the holidays are short sia, n dear's bike broke down on the way going up haiz, sad sia, haha... bt i did enjoy myself except kana gif mosquito bite sia, so many red dots haha....n i oso take a pic of mi sittin at rachel's S4 bike haha, wait til the pic is up den post inside here haha, is cool man haha.... hopefully next time can go again haha... i wun mind go cameron again n again haha.... the places is cool, so far the onli place that i like is cameron highland haha....KL is a borin place haha... is hot n jam nothing special to shop oso haha....n i have uploaded a new song cal "LING" sing by Ke You Lun. dunno hu izzit haha coz i find the song quite nice after watching the MARS. n chen lin was so cool sia. haha... ridin the fazer wouldnt mind watch again haha... which i juz did hehe... n 2day is National day sia, n oso 1 yr anniversary wif my dear haha... so fast 1 yr liao. hmmm cant imagine sia haha.... k, well i wil stop here liao le, wil catch up wif u again ba. gt to go do my home work which i hafn even done yet. kind of lazy to do so sian, coz holiday mood ma haha....

so sian sia... haha 2day gt S&W n i dun wana go so go take mc from polyclinic haha... so sian sia... ah dear doin course cant disturb him while den im playin the maplestory game lo haha... yawnz times flies so fast hehe going to 1 yr liao sia... so fast hor.. haiz own him too much of ren qing liao le, PC money stil hafn pay him sia, den the sailormoon vcd wow seh, where can i find tis type of guy in the world. haha i tot gd guys all extinct liao le, bt im wrong stil gt some in the world haha.. ah dear is 1 of them lo. haha... well national day itself he's on duty so celebrate on the followin day. haha... well, hmmm grow up ar, mentality grow up or wat neh?? haha... haiz can i dun grow up i wana b children haha... children no headache de, adult gt alot of headache sia, worry abt money la, den relationship la, den blah blah blah.... lots to worry abt. haiz...k la i go back play game liao le so borin....

think its such a long time since i post inside here haha.... wat have i been busy wif??? busyin wif sch work lo den wat else... den busy playin the maple game haha...so dun haf time to come online. yesterday nite went to perlin n haf dinner n guess wat on the way back saw mel sia haha my cousin haha... so coincidence sia.... think later after doin my home work i den go amk find her since she's workin there 2day. haha... well in my class it happens to have a ger which i dislike so much sia she's damn irritatin n damn fan lo... dislike her to the core. haha... think she gt a irritatin face pluz her character sucks too. she's juz like a follower everi where we go she oso wana follow even to the toilet. although tis doesn happen to me bt im helpin another friend to say it out haha... coz i think quite a few of us cant tahan her way too. she's too idiotic n irritatin maybe she's stil a kid ba haha... stil dunno hw to think unlike my sec sch friends haha...well gt no choice gt to do everi thing i can to get rid of her...well gt to go do my home work liao stil hafn done yet. hmmm today dunno wana go join joo gong at bugis ma??? maybe gt go ba haha i oso veri long no c them liao le haha... especially stacey u c haha... she meetin sab n xue ni at around 2+ bt i dun think im goin dun feel like seein her face haha... so i better meet them in the evenin time haha...

weekend is goin over soon, tml is sch day again, haiz...so sian, sch starts no more goin out late late le, muz come home early get ready for the sch the next day. fri nite was a gd nite sia, met up wif a lot of female riders, gt chilli, nicholoasonbaby, narada, myusha, nedomar haha think tis all ba, all tis are the ladies riders tat i hafn met yet de all. a big thanks to finix for waitin me at the dam hehe....tire tis 2 days bt enjoyable haha...complete my homework bt muz revise abit on wat teacher teaches us ma hehe bt i cant remember any leh, maybe i was day dreamin haha k im goin to get my lunch den bath den if can meet him earlier liao le cya... :D

so tire today sch reopen, n guess wat my new class contains onli 2 guys n the oldest guy is the same age as dear dear sia, born in 1978 haha...n onli a few ppl born in the same yr as mi nia sia. saw jia liang today haha...n happen to see kai xian oso, juz nw on my way out from sch saw her bf...n i feel so hungry once i reach home. coz from mornin i eat until juz nw i reach home i den eat wor, if nt hw come i wil feel so hungry haha...n my time table come out le. Thursday is the day tat i wil reach home late. 5.15pm den dismiss from sch, so sian haiz... n tml dunno go wat Bukit Timah dunno at where n onli our class is selected. so damn borin...got to go photocopy paper later on, maybe in the evenin when i feel more cooler ba. nw i feel so tire sia, feel like slppin bt cannt if nt later in the nite i cant go back slp haiz... tml is a borin day for me again haha... bt times flies really fast, imagine next yr of 2day i wil b in 2nd yr liao le, n is the last yr haha... hopefully i can graduate frm it n move to poly. if nt go back work lo...earn more money ma.

And imagine quite a few junior from my sec sch is the same class as mi. haha cannt imagine tat rite i oso didn think of it. well, dear nw attendin course so didn msg mi all tis. stil waitin for him to haf a good tok wif him wor, we lack of communication n everi time i wana tok to him i dunno hw to face him onli noe hw to use net, which is the wrong way n tis doesn help in our relation wor. i wish next time i gt any problems i could juz tel him in face. hopefully our relation stil can survive ba. stil gt hope to amend it. go do my sch stuff le, n rest oso haha...

finally come back here le, pc juz came back to me tis mornin. n i didn noe i had made u upset again. tis 1 wk i haf been thinkin y i keep on treatin u tat way n i really dunno i myself oso feel terrible oso. haf u ever regret ur decision ma??? i really duno. u are a type of guy which most of the gers would like. i dunno y i keep on makin u upset bt how m i suppose to change my character when i haf tis character since young. i noe im a irresponsible person bt wat can i do i haf tat attitude since young. who can change mi. lack of teachin maybe tats the thing. n im always slower den other ppl, n u noe im the person tat toks wif out thinkin maybe im straight forward tats y. n maybe tis is the reason ba. i keep on wantin to haf a chance to tok to u, bt always cant find any chance haiz... i do knows tat 1 day u really wil explode ur temper n the endurance u oso wun b able to take it. i do noe of tis circumstances. i dunno when wil tis day arrive bt den i cant c anymore of future onli present bcoz of the way tat i treated u. even if 1 day, there's a ger standin in front of u tat likes u or u like her, i dun even mind bcoz i dun even treat u so gd. keep on makin u upset, if ever u can find happiness 1 day i wun mind. coz i noe the fault lies in mi, i dunno hw to b a gd gf of urs.

the leaving of mi, wouldn't take away the sky of urs.

it wil onli b a part of memory of urs, n the road we go wil b even longer den nw.

hmmm, forgot wat is the poem le. onli remember a few phase. heard tis phase from QIAN NU YU HUN. xiao qian say to shu dai haha....

it's been ages since i blog, well due to my computer was down, n there was no way tat i could blog so therefore, gt to miz my blog wil b back in a few months times. c ya

i felt so stress up, i gt to pay lots of things, my hp bill, internet bill, my dental installment, my bike practical, even nw i stil gt to help pay my home utilities. i gt lots of burden liao le, plus ITE has accepted mi, n now i oso gt to pay my sch fees myself. i cant even breathe. for now, i 1 2 earn money as much as i can. so for now, i wil start to find job liao le, no matter hw many jobs i work. n i wun b able to meet u as much as last time. for mi money is more important den everi thing else. either i gif up my bike or my studies. u cant understand wat im sayin den i say 4get it liao rite. so y stil bother n ask. i juz cant understand it. since u duno wat im sayin den dun bother to know la. kaoz... wait til im in a better mood den say ba... tml i oso dun think i wil b meetin u....

last nite outin was so fantastic haha...quite a few female riders turn up wor... seein so many female riders tis makes mi feel like chiongin to get my 2B license haha...i haf fail 5 times le, bt den well, i wil jia you de, there's definitely 1 day i wil pass my prac 1 de haha tml wil b my prac 1 again liao le haha....so nervous bt den last nite went to buy the guards le, to protect my knee cap n my elbow. i dun 1 2 fall down again sia, i wil jia you de hopefully can pass tml haha bt i dun think so ba, i muz think on positive side n nt negative side, muz haf more confident n tats the way man... cheers to those ladies riders out there...i wish myself all the best haha...

juz went to c dear de blog, n from last yr til nw, we seem to haf alot of arguein especially the first few months when im so stubborn n my temper is hot too, bt nw do we stil haf the same problem again or another problem ne, let me c wat haf i change for the past 8 months. i felt so silly last time haha... oso dunno y i haf the reaction the last time. arguein abt the pic he takes wif gers all tis bt den well, now i noe tat he can b trusted n i totally trust him. wat more could i b worry abt. n the promises i haf given all i haf done it sia... cannt sit on other guys de bike, n hmm cannt meet guys ba.. is tat so haha so tirin

hmmm i haf change the word 'dun tok to mi' tis words, which he dislike alot de haha tis is the onli thing i haf change other den tat wat haf i change so far, discussin abt meetin ppl, other ppl, all tis we haf discuss rite hmm so now gt to change my character liao le haha... i seem so bad for the first few months. guess now i could onli change for the better, tml he's goin for his thailand trip while im goin for my practical 1. i stil feel abit nervous abt it too. going slp nw le tml early mornin goin for my dental checkup den go temple pray liao le... muz remember to come back in one piece. dun 1 u 2 haf any injuries all tis & tat...dislike him to go so far especially on water festival is so dangerous when i heard kester tellin him tat it wil b dangerous so ride carefully. it gives me creeps abt it. anyway im goin to brush my teeth nw le haha....

tokin to keane nw. he just had his accident yesterday, fracture his wrist, broken knee & groin abrasion funny is his dick oso muz do dressin. i was askin him stil can haf sex after recover ma. haha so funny if cannt stand den jia lat liao. den he wil b a tai jian liao le haha...oops seems like im so evil sia...haha

whenever im sad, i go to ur blog & saw those things u post last time, it makes mi feel more sad & guilty i dunno y bt i always cry. im sorry dear i keep on makin u so stress makes u so piss off, i try to change myself k. i nid time to change my mentality my character oso. pls forgive me....my hearts hurt too everi time make u so unhappy...too tire le im goin to slp le. he's always on my mind & the promises i have make i have done it. i nid more time to change my character. tis is all build up since young i cant change overnite....

y are we always arguein abt money neh, if u always being so piss off, y nt from nw eat the meals at home, i dun mind goin home to eat de lo, is u hu always wana eat outside, if u wana save money is fine wif mi ma, next time juz fetch mi home on time to eat my dinner & u go home eat ur dinner den everi thing is solve le ma, the late is my habit is secondary sch til nw le, u 1 mi 2 change is hard nt 1 day can change everi thing de ma, if u dun like to wait den next time dun wait for mi, since i already get use to it le, u like being to be punctual or even b punctual earlier den other ppl. 4 mi i haf already get use to my own timin le, u 1 mi 2 follow urs is abit hard, nt i dun 1 2 change myself i did try to bt den well im stil the same, if i can change y i always late for work. haiz since nw im nt workin maybe we can meet on fri & sat lo, the rest of the weekdays u can go home & take ur dinner den can save up alot of money liao ma. i myself already felt so stress up le, we always argue bcoz of money if tats the case i might as well gif up my study go work full time hao le. haiz so for now we meet on weekend hao le. maybe is gd 4 both of us oso. den u no nid keep on being so piss off & everi time argue wif mi liao le, i oso dun like to argue wif u. gif each other more personal time ba, u gt so much friends waitin to go out wif u. maybe on weekend we den meet ba. we wil tok again on tis lo. i already felt the pressure haiz....maybe we shld meet abit less wil b better for u & i. i dun even noe 4 my character u can tahan how long, gt a feeling tis relationship won't last long. as wat u tel mi abt my character last sun. my metailty is tat stupid is tat naive is tat childish, wat u 1 mi 2 change. love the person hu they are & nt the person hu change for the sake of another. if for gd well, i of coz wil change bt den again time is concerned, i nid hw long to change myself i oso dunno.....maybe in future or a few yrs down the road ba....my mind is always thinkin, maybe u are right, i keep on assumin too much assume tat things wil work out the way i wanted it. well, im wrong, totally wrong, haiz if i gif u too much pressure, we meet lesser lo, i wil contribute money bt as i say drinks or any dessert i wil pay or we go on dutch wil b more better for both of us ba, i dun wish to argue abt it anymore, dun wish to make both of us sad. since u goin on thailand on mon mornin gif tis 3 days both of us a rest ba. i noe u are stress abt money. next time go out less stay at home often ba. sorri to make u unhappy so much i try my best & do whatever i can to make u happy k.

it's me again, yesterday went to ubi & book my practical 1, n the day of my practical is nearin bcoz is next mon & it's the same day as my dental appointment juz tat different timin, i book in the afternoon hehe...so scare & nervous sia, after all i so long nv touch the bike liao, i scare i might 4gt hw 2 throttle all tis, & especially the hand brake tat keep on makes mi fail my practical de, ubi de hand brake is nt like dear de leh, i oso dunno y, i hope can pass ba, after all i learn so much frm dear liao, haha he say gif mi 10 chances, if i stil cannt pass, den i can 4get abt ridin liao le haha....i oso agree wif him hehe...

yo, finally come back to blog liao le, haha i haf come back from cameron since 1 wk le, bt den i gt no time 2 blog, so now, come back n blog lo, keke....juz nw went to east coast n cyclin, wow tats so shag sia,dear say my balancin n turnin k le, shld go n book my practical 1 soon, haiz juz nw rainin den go parkway there sit down n tok, hmmm if i dun change my mentality n my habit n character, soon dear cannt tahan mi liao le, n he wil b like carol de bf, say buai buai 2 mi le, haiz i try 2 change lo, since dear say if it's for gd den y nt change, haiz so scare 1 day he cannt tahan mi he wil leave mi, looks like i muz stop thinkin abt tis 1 day, if nt really comes true i surely jia lat de, k im goin 2 eat my dinner le, nw waitin for dear de pic den i can upload all inside my gallary :P n dear is plannin to go cameron again on may, haha.... n tis time i muz definitely remember to bring my torchlight n my mp3, if nt along the highway im sure im bore de hehe....

juz nw went to try dear de bike n den wow lao it was heavy lo, more heavy den the 2b bike, n my god de hw m i goin to take class 2 license if it's heavy sia, haiz oh ya i hafn even pass my practical 1 yet, n i think so far already think im mad n crazy already haha...from sharin the experience in those ladies forum n wow all of them are like so clever sia, muz take them for example den i can take my 2b well n haf a determination oso. k let's count 2 wks from now, i shld b able to book practical 1, den renew my membership le. i wil jia you jia you de, all the gers wil support mi de rite. haha...so thick skin :P

i've been thinkin shld i go learn my bike ant, bt den my glove haf throw away liao le, im scare im like last time cant control the bike well n cant balance it well, seein so many gers tat ride, if i stil dun go n learn den someone wil say, *u dun even haf a bike license i dun understand y u inside sbf doin wat* tis phrase i wil always remember bcoz it was say by shoei. yes n it is him hu say mi
bt den wat abt my dental payment i stil gt $700 hafn pay yet. haiz wat m i doin to do, i noe tat my cdc account stil left $90 which means i stil can learn a few practicals bt den i haf fail 3 times, n im pai seh to go n being laugh by the instructor or those ppl hu are learnin their class 2a n class 2. n no ppl pei mi go learn all the while gt dear pei mi go here go there, bt nw if i wana go learn bike no ppl pei mi go wor, wat m i suppose to do haiz shld i go n learn ma, dear has always encouraging mi go n learn n i think he wil definitely support mi go learn de, bt den i cant concentrate sia, eg the close throttle open throttle clutch the gear all tis kind n cdc de bike de brake is so hard to brake sia, haiz wat m i goin to do, alot of ppl haf been encouragin me. bt yet haiz i stil dun dare go n learn. i already gt one scar on my hand liao le, wat if i stil gt another scar den wat m i suppose to do sobzzz.... n i wun b nice liao le. a nice body juz gif mi ruin like tat. teach mi wat shld i do. haiz n im scare i oso dun haf any future so wat gd reason shld i gif myself to go n learn bike??? haiz.....if i really 1 2 go n learn den i shld learn balancin my bicylce well 1st b4 go learnin the bike...haiz....sad, sobz....vex n confuse....

i noe someone is regret knowin me, u can choose to back out now, i dun mind, anyway i noe myself well, im a person wif no future if choosin to leave mi, i dun blame u, i did say b4, tv is my favourite thing which i likes, plus u gt too many appointments n u cant keep on askin mi to join which i dun like rite, i noe u are upset wif mi, bt wat can i do, since u need gf tat can accompany u more often den u go find 1 lo, go find a gf tat can accompany u everi min, everi sec n everi day. i 1 2 enjy my day, dun 1 2 argue wif u, anyway dun think tis wk wil meet u up, since u gt so many appointments which u cant miss any of them. so let it b lo, u go do ur stuff while i go do my stuff, i dun bother u le, u continue go use ur computer ba. bcoz i noe u wun watch tv de as i noe u dislike watchin tv shows. bt i like u cant stop mi.

sobz i juz kana sack from the tan tock seng hospital reason is tat i do things too slow liao le sobz im born to do things slow de ma wat can i do wor, tis is the 2nd time liao le, m i destinated to work as a sales girl rather den work in a office sobz im really sad, my heart is like being stab into pieces sobz and now im sick due to nt drinkin enough water sobz maybe im stupid enough yes n i agree i shld have go die the few yrs back, and i wouldn have the pain rite now, no friends to talk to and where have my friends gone to. they have disappeared since the separation of our sec 4. all gone totally gone, now wat state m i, if i had known tis situation i shld have stay at loyang there my colleagues all there. there are much more fun and i wouldn b so sad now, all bcoz of the 2pid nitec, bcoz of u the 2pid nitec coz mi lost the job tat i like. i hate 2pid nite. now wat m i a ghost or a half dead half ghost i totally no mood at all, i dun feel like eatin i dun feel like anything rite now, im dead a person tat is totally no feelin at all. sobz... haiz wish i didn born in tis world to have so much of pain

dear de bike, wif 4 monsters protectin me hehe where's another monster he is dear lo hehe

yesterday went to Orang Asli n eat, and wow dear was riding 180 wif onli 3rd gear sia, i could onli hold tite dear bcoz of the strong wind i scare being flown away sia, haha....tats was thrilling, imagine on the dark road n my shirt was flying haha can imagine the cold air behind my back keke but dear say wif the top box it becomes more unstable liao sia, haha now i gt 4 monster protecting me wor, 2 side panel box, 1 top box, and where's another monster, haha he's dear lo infron of me ridin ma, hehe....so together i gt 4 monster protectin mi keke....cool hor haha.... tis mornin wake up stomach pain again haiz 2pid stomach, i hate being a ger, y i cant b a guy haiz at least guys are much more better den gers sobzz i hate it, any place of the body pain i can endure bt nt on stomach i simply juz hate it i hate it.... argh 2pid ass hole

back to blog liao le, well on valentine's day went to my cousin weddin dinner as posted their pictures below. and dear give mi a set of cosmetic haha i tot he wil give mi a perfume anyway i didn tot he wil buy me a present as we say earlier, that my digital camera wil be my valentine's present as well hmmm so naughty of him hehe and Michelle juz tel mi she might getting ROM by end of tis yr i think so haha, finally she can settle down liao i oso hope her Dom wil treat her lots better den nw hehe... anyway i told her if really ROM muz invite mi go and see wor hehe and right now im waiting for job interview le, juz receive a cal there's a job at AMK there near the SSDC bt i dun even noe where is the place, anyway i could onli be confirm when he calls me n rite now im at home watching my Young and Dangerous dvd by Ekin my idol haha luvs him lots sia wonder wat is he doin rite now wor, he looks so cool when acted as a triad leader sia, damn cool wor, his face is so yandao haha... so far i onli haf 2 idols wor, Ekin and Jimmy Lin, the rest nt so like haha tis 2 are my favourite Idols....haiz n my stomach pain 2day sia so sian goin 2 buy my panadol soon coz its going 2 finish up by mi soon haha... think im addicted 2 tis panadol for life sia haiz really wish tat there's a medicine to stop my stomach pain haiz goin watch tv le hehe blog in another time le

Their big day settle down on valentine's day 14-02-2005 happily married cheers to my cousin

Tea ceremonry serve tea to her brother, in return get a hong bao back hehe

Saying their vows as they are christian

Me and my cousin, and oh shit de i look so fat sia gain alot of weight recently haiz

happy chinese new yr...hehe...finally cum in n blog i couldn cum in is bcoz my computer was down until chu yi dear cum my hm bai nian shun pian help mi repair computer hehe...hmmm tis yr de new yr is so special sia, new yr eve stay at hm watch tv bt den after my reunion dinner went to my cousin home, tat stays in a condon wow tats was so fantastic sia.... chu yi wake up catch the part of show tat i miss out, den go dear de ah ma home, n it happen tat his ah ma is stayin at the same blk as my aunt wor, my aunt stays at 5th while his ah ma stays at 4th... so coincidence haha... tis yr is so special sia, normally alone i celebrate bt tis yr gt dear sia... 1st time go his ah ma house bai nian, after his ah ma house cum back 2 my home, bt so weird by the time we cum back, my aunts hafn even cum yet, haha n den tis yr left out 1 aunt coz another aunt was at Australia, bt she gt cal up at chu yi, n tis yr oso special we didn play the blackjack at all sia, haha until yesterday chu er, went to my ah kim place at Sengkang, we den play, n guess wat i win.... haha... we play $2 n den play double oso i take out $2 or $4 to play until the last round b4 we end i win around $20+ haha... i hardly win that much, normally i no win no lose juz nice bt tis yr i actually did win..hmmm... izzit bcoz of my luck ma... bt dear de zodiac tis yr seems 2 b in gd yr wor, dear is a house well im a cow haha... can u imagine tat when i read the character of the cow it was almost exactly like mine, i cant even imagine tat haha... well the tiger hmmm doesn even sound like mi haha...later goin Joo Gong home, den follow go Sab home, yesterday gt 1 person at Stacey's home tats y i didn go haha...thanks 2 dear sia, tis yr i feel so happy wor, n yesterday alot of ppl askin mi y my bf didn go haha... i tel my 1st aunt tat i dun intend 2 bring him go, scare later my ah kim de sister sayin things they veri gd at talkin ppl de, tats y i dun like them, humpf... say other ppl they themself oso nt so gd kns sia.... ah bish... let's c wat is my plan tml... i will be goin 2 my mother tat side 2 bai nian i alone go la haha coz onli go 2 my cousin house ma, den at nite maybe hafin dinner wif dear sec sch friends... den sun i c whether im goin 2 my teacher house or go 2 Lum's house... heard he gt dog sia, i scare wor...

juz nw went to c dear de blog...n those sadness n tears start 2 drop...although is the past bt i stil couldn't help it bt feel sad...hmmm nw u haf finish paying ur laptop loan, bt yet i didn ask u do u stil haf enough money 2 survive ma...i scare next time u wil say mi off if u dun haf any money left... bt so far i think u stil haf money 2 spend, hope im rite hehe....other den the other time i really cried becoz u say mi, i hate ppl say me, dunno y, my cousin oso dun like ppl say him... izzit almost ppl dun like ppl 2 say them or wat... after u tel mi spare a thought for u, n u doesn 1 me 2 embarrass me, n my singin is out of tune, tis 3 phrase has been in my mind ever since... i cant control bt keep on remember the word my singin is out of tune...next mon we wil go 2 Hongbao River den on new yr eve i wil sacrifice my countdown n stay at hm 2 watch the tv...coz i've been thinkin everi time my aunt ask 4 u, u wil come my hm no matter wat, n nw is my turn 2 go meet ur aunt le... if nt next time u sure wil say everi time ur aunt ask 4 mi, i keep on didn go, well, i think i oso shld put in ur shoes... bt im pai seh ma..some more my skin is nt so thick as urs k, my courage is timid im nt so brave... tats y til nw i stil dun dare go back 2 bike practical bcoz i dun haf enough courage n brave...later goin 2 c u le...so i goin bath le...

c so many gers ridin sia, 34 riders sia, faint, c liao oso wil haf abit xin yang yang sia, last sat go KK kfc den i try sittin down on Katana's bike n i actually can tip toe sia haha... didn expect it, coz dear de bike when i sit down i cant even touch the ground let alone tip toe, hmmm.... dear has been encourage me go take bike leh, bt i stil doesn wana go sia coz i scare wor, hmmm.... actually i oso dun nid any license de hor, gt dear 2 fetch mi can liao, haha.... wat makes me go take bike license in the 1st place, coz i like bike and seeing those ppl ridin sports bike is so cool, but after sittin dear de bike for half a yr i started to get scare, dunno y, maybe is bcoz i scare being buang on the road, wat shld i do 2 get over the fear, hmmm....although wif dear 4 so long n yet i cant learn anything at all, haiz car is better den bike coz protect us ma, rather den bike, haiz... wat 2 do neh, car n bike oso nid alot of money de wor, if i keep on fail my practicals all tis, i lack of brave, courage and im too tense up le.....

yesterday nite when i was abt 2 slp, i cant stop thinkin the incident at the short circuit when i was learning my bike, i keep on thinkin abt the circuit that i throttle 2 much to cause the bike 2 ride so fast n cause me to bang against the other bikes in the row. n the more i think abt it my heart beats more faster it is, do i really wana go n take the bike ma?? do i haf the ability ma?? do i haf enough cash 2 go n book those practical ma, haiz the onli thing i can do nw is to find job n den well save enough money ba, that's the onli think tat i can do haiz

haiz my aunt has gone back to Australia le, somehow i miz my 2 cousins, haiz remember the days they spend over here makes me feel like crying. well yesteday go c movie n happen 2 c Ivan workin down there, hehe n nw was tokin 2 him, he was telling mi dunno 1 2 take car or bike n i go inside the cdc driving center de web page n den haiz dunno y, i c liao feel like taking the bike practical bcoz Yu Pei is goin 2 enroll oso, den i dunno 1 2 take ant, maybe i shld haf more practice in my bicycle 1st ba, i cant overcome my fear, i remember seeing tis lady rider post in the thread sayin tat, if u wana take bike u nid 2 haf prepare 2 die on the road or being accident, all these consequences remind me of 1 ger tat die in Kulai, n tis makes me more scare, i cant imagine if i were to ride on the road 1 day, n den nt being carefully i might juz die on the road, well tis is wat i scare 4, i scare 2 leave my dear wor, haiz...dunno y nw i haf bcom more n more timid even nw i dun even dare 2 watch the ghost show, which was my favourite last time, wat has happend 2 mi, y had i bcum so timid nw, y?? i dunno the anz myself, i cant concertrate myself when changin gear or when brake i tend 2 get nervous as i remind myself of the short circuit n the burn i get on my hand, wat if i were to go take again,n i get burn again bt more serious or even landed in hospital wat m i goin 2 do den. haiz my head pains again le although im tempted 2 go n learn bcoz i saw the gers surround mi all ridin, if i pass n i get a bike i can go out roundin bt den i scare of death, haiz i bcum more timid nowadays i duno wats make mi bcum tis, haiz anyway i stil gt 2 pay my dental fees maybe in the future den decide again ba haiz....

my aunt juz cum back frm australia on monday night, n my cousin of coz, she still so adorable n so small like a bolster like tat, so cute hor haha.....dunno y, it seems so long i like seen my dear, although we just met on my bday 4 celebration, bt it seems so long 2 mi, or izzit bcoz my aunt juz cum back n i goin 2 spend ard 1 wk wif them, as they cum back n stay only 4 10 days, well 2day abit nt feelin well leh, i dunno can make it 2 meet my dear ma, if nt got to wait til fri le, thurs is my dental appointment, finally can go dental appointment le, hmmm im waitin 2 ask the doc things wor, haiz so sian sia, everi day wake up do nthing, haiz i oso dunno wat m i doin, sucks man life is simply so sian haiz....

hehe happy birthday 2 me, happy 19 birthday, yes it is my bday 2day, 19 le wor, keke well, went to order cake juz nw, n den cum back, eat the mee sua tat my ah ma cook earlier n den i had a fall 2pid sia, bcoz my ah ma clothin drop n den i accidentally step onto it, den had a fall n it was so sway haiz so sad hmmm smell nice coz my ah ma is frying chicken wings haha....hmmm n last nite dear accompany mi inside the car till midnite 12 am juz 2 wish mi happy birthday so touching wor, despite his tiredness as he stil gt 2 do his rtt tis morning n yet he stil can acc mi til midnite, where 2 find tis type of dear wor, hu wil treat his gf as nice as a pearl wor, hmmm i juz nw go do some resize 2 my pic haha n last nite take some of the pic inside the car keke...wil post up here some other times ba :P

tis is 1 of the pic tat i like the most hmmm do i look fierce hehe

countin 2wards my bday, hmmmm.... left another 4 more days n it's oso our 5 mth anni le, keke...time flies so fast wor, dear im so touch wor, despite ur financial u stil can share the digital camera price wif mi, dear i wun dare 2 ask u frm anything le, im touch by ur action, tis digital camera will be the present 4 valentine's day oso. u doesnt nid 2 buy anything more 4 mi le, im happy 2 haf u as my dear im already so touch le. muacks luv dear, u haf done so much 4 mi, wonder when wil b my turn 2 do 4 u. maybe wat i can help u do is to help u clean up ur whole room haha....and that's when if im free 2 help u 2 clean up lo. keke....hugs

2day is the 1st day of yr 2005, isn't tat fast, yesterday was my last day at the company, i was upset wor, been working there for 4 mths le, suddenly it was my last day which was sounded quite sad, as time was abt to knock off, i was greeted by those colleagues in the company, all saying Happy New Year to me. And one of the colleague actually tel me tat say abit can't bear to see me go sia, mi 2 oso haf the feeling, haiz, after work dear fetch mi home, wait 4 mi 2 bath n change den go to his home n watch tv den after tat, go to Kallang KFC n eat n guess wat, i bumped into Yu Pei and she turn up to be Ivy's sister sia, so concidence wor, n of coz i oso gt c Shoei, n hmmmm his teeth like so yellowish sia, anyway i oso nv take much notice of him, i onli keep on tokin 2 Yu Pei, hehe n we exchange hp no again n keep in contact again, den after tat we went to Bedok Blk 85 there n haf chicken wing wif dear's friend. After finish eating, we went to Thiam Seng factory to haf sum fun, and as usual they playing games n drinking alcohol. haha n i drink abit only. coz the alcohol is too strong 4 mi le, we stay until tis morning 5+ den cum back home, well the rest still staying at Thiam Seng there, n can u believe it i actually slp 4 almost 12 hours. i myself oso can't believe it, after wake up, meet dear go Sim Lim square buy my Optical mouse n the USB port, which i'm using it rite now, the mouse seems abit weird sia, cant control it, after buying we go Heartland Mall n eat MacDonald haha den we go shop awhile den cum back home le. time flies so fast sia.... hopefully i can get inside the ite ba...