I wish

dar i really wish the one who is dead is me and not you. i really cannt communicate with your sons. you say that no wonder they hate me. they must be thinking that why the one who is dead is you and not me. i also wish that could happen to me instead. at least they will respect you. they dont even respect me at all. i got no stand in this family you know right. sometimes i really wish to join you and wash hands off entirely. im so freaking tired. why heaven never come take me away why take you away instead. i feel my life might get shorten over the next few years. who knows maybe next yr i also same as you. i think i really need to go seek help soon liao le. coz i know my mental is really not so good now